THE BIG QUESTION: “HOW DO I KNOW?”

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Very often God’s invitation is gentle. Hints are given here and there that can be recognized if you take time to reflect on your life. God calls whomever He desires, and in whatever way he wishes.
Following are only some possible indicators of a POTENTIAL vocation to religious life that you should reflect on which might help you decide whether to engage in a sincere discernment process.

God might be calling you to Himself as a religious if you:

  • have a simple natural inclination toward the religious life
  • have a desire for a religious vocation together with the impression that God is calling you to his service
  • have a growing attraction for prayer and the things of God in general
  • have a serious interest in a deep relationship with God; a desire to be more closely united with Him, to learn to live entirely for Him
  • read Scripture and desire to be a faithful disciple
  • experience the emptiness of the world and of its insufficiency to satisfy your soul
  • have a longing to offer oneself and abandon all for the love of Jesus Christ
  • have a longing for God’s glory
  • have a realization of the value of immortal souls and a desire to cooperate in their salvation
  • find that the thought of religious life brings you happiness
  • have a desire to make reparation for sin
  • have a desire to devote your life to obtain the conversion of sinners
  • are active in your parish, youth group, or other things that support spiritual growth
  • are drawn to service and are generous with your time and talents
  • like spending time with those who have dedicated themselves to God
  • experience a thought about a religious vocation that comes to mind again and again, even when you pray NOT to have a vocation!
  • other people have asked you if you’ve thought about being a Sister

How do you know God is calling you to religious life? No one can actually answer that question for you. Only you can. And it can only be answered well through an authentic process of discernment in which you are attentive to the working of the Holy Spirit.

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY?

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Sometimes people called by God to the religious life don’t even begin the discernment process. They’re stuck before taking one step forward. It you’ve been hesitant up to this point, it’s important to recognize what might be holding you back and to take time to reflect on the truth of the matter. Different people have different struggles and fears. It’s important to discover your hidden fears and other obstacles, to name them, and to face them head on. Gaining understanding, learning truth, and recognizing what’s really going on in your heart, will make the road you travel more clear. If any of the following obstacles are true for you, it would be helpful for you to find someone with experience and who will be honest with you – your spiritual director, a priest or Sister, or another wise guide – and talk over your concerns with them. This will assist you to address obstacles that may be holding you back and dispel worries.

The following, which are not listed in any particular order and are not meant to be exhaustive, are common fears, excuses and misconceptions, and they’re all understandable. If any of these apply to you, you’re not alone. Any of these things can come up when the possibility of a religious vocation presents itself.

I don’t think I would make a good sister; I don’t have the right temperament.
What makes you think so? Because you’re too outgoing and fun-loving? Because you’re so independent? Because you think you’re too shy to live a communal life? Doesn’t God choose whomever He wishes?

I’m afraid of being called to religious life.
Because God’s plans don’t match you plans and dreams? Do you believe you will be miserable if you follow God’s plan for you? Because you have an unreal view of religious life?

I’m afraid I’ll be bored in religious life.
Because you think the life of a religious is monotonous and boring? Do you really know what it’s like? Do you presume it is boring just because there is a routine and regular rhythm to the religious life?

I’m afraid I’ll discern to enter and later discover I was wrong.
Because you’ve seen it happen? Do you believe there’s a stigma attached? Are you expecting an absolute guarantee? Did Mary know God’s entire plan when she said “yes” to God at the Annunciation? Are you willing to engage in a good, sincere, and intentional discernment process to discover God’s will? If so, do you believe that God will bless you, no matter what? Do you have the ability to take risks and trust the God who loves you and wants you to find your vocation more than you do? Are you convinced that if you put your trust in God, He will lead you where he wants you to be?

I don’t want to leave my family.
Do you think leaving one’s family is unique entering religious life? Isn’t it true that for mature adults, no matter what vocation they’re called to, there’s always a certain amount of letting go of your family that is required? It is usually very hard to leave you family, but do you believe God is always present with you and will give His grace at difficult times?

I’m afraid I’ll fail.
Because you’re worried you’ll “mess up”? Not measure up? Is your idea of religious life too idealistic? Do you consider the religious Sisters to be perfect, to be saints? Do you realize that they’re human beings, with weaknesses and struggles just like everyone else? Are you relying too much on yourself and not trusting God to lead you?

I’m afraid I’ll be lonely.
Do you suppose someone married or single doesn’t experience loneliness? Have you ever experienced loneliness? Do you realize that the meaning of our life comes from making a sincere gift of self in love, no matter what the vocation is? Do you understand that loneliness has to do with HOW we live our vocations; that loneliness and being unfulfilled come from not learning to make a sincere gift of self?

I’m afraid of losing my identity and individuality.
Do you imagine that everyone in a religious community is alike? Are you aware that your uniqueness is a gift and your growth in holiness will magnify your individuality, not diminish it; it will make it more truly you, not less?

I’m afraid to let go.
What are you afraid of losing – friends, material things, independence? Because it’s risky and scary? Because saying yes to one thing means saying no to others? Is it the surrendering, the separation and departures that you fear because of the pain of loss? Do you believe that joy can come after sorrow? Are you willing to give yourself and the process some time in order to gradually see all things in the light of your life’s vocation?

I’m afraid that if I become a religious I’ll life a loveless life.
Are you contrasting religious life with marriage? Do you believe that to live without a spouse and a family means love is impossible, that it means isolation and loneliness? Doesn’t God intend all people to be loved and to love? Obviously, it will be different than in marriage, but have you really thought about how religious consecrated to God live a love-filled life?

I’m afraid of making a permanent commitment.
Because of all the broken commitments you see around you? Does permanence seem impossible to you? Because saying yes to one thing means saying no to all other options in life? Do you expect to feel trapped living in a religious community? Are you thinking that you are committed as soon as you enter a community? Do you trust God; are you able to take a risk with God? Do you believe that God has graces waiting for you beyond your “yes”? Do you have the courage to take a leap of faith?

I’ll be unhappy in religious life.
Because you presume the life of a Sister is unhappy; that it’s impossible to be truly satisfied in religious life? What brings happiness? Isn’t true happiness found in learning to make a sincere gift of self? Do you see that at the center of the life of a religious Sister is a real person, with a face, with a name – Jesus, who is Himself the fullness of life and joy?

I’m not worthy to become a Sister.
Because you’re not good enough, not pious enough, not holy enough? Do memories of sins stand in the way? Does your past make you feel hypocritical? Do you think that God’s mercy and forgiveness are only temporary? Do you feel unlovable? Does the fact that you are beloved by God seem impossible? Do you feel unworthy because you still need to make a sincere effort to live a virtuous life? Is it because you focus too much on yourself and remain unaware of how much God loves you at every moment? Do you realize that everyone is unworthy, but that God chooses who He wishes, how He wishes, and when He wishes? That He – not ourselves – is the one who makes us worthy?

I’ll be wasting my talent.
Because you won’t be able to follow your dreams? Because you may not be able to use your gifts and talents as you wish? Because you’ve invested so much time and money into a particular career and it seems absurd to seemingly throw it all away? Have you thought about the fact that when you give back to God, when you place your gifts and talents in His hands, nothing is ever wasted? Do you love the Giver more than His gifts?
“Dear young people, do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away and gives you everything.
When we give ourselves to Him we receive a hundred-fold in return.
Yes, open wide the doors to Christ and you will find true life.”
– Pope Benedict XVI
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CONGREGATION OF THE MISSIONARY SISTERS OF THE
BLESSED VIRGIN MARY, QUEEN OF MERCY
Dòng Nữ Tu Thừa Sai Đức Mẹ Trinh Vương Thương Xót

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