DISCERNMENT…WHAT IS IT?

After honestly looking at things that might have been holding you back from sincerely considering whether God is calling you to a religious vocation, and from the fruit of your prayer and the promptings of the Holy Spirit, perhaps you’ve decided and now are ready to enter into a sincere, intentional discernment process.

But, what is discernment? The word “discernment” comes from a Latin word which means “to separate.” To sort out what leads to God and His desire for you and your complete happiness, and what leads away.

We have many different desires within. Some of our desires are meant to be fulfilled. Others not. Or, they may be fulfilled in different ways that we never imaged. Discernment is meant to help us dig down to the deepest desires of our heart that God has placed there for us.

God is constantly speaking to us, acting in our daily life, loving us in the concrete situations we face.
Discernment is the practice of learning how to recognize his voice, his hand, his love in what we experience each day. Discernment is about sifting through the “noise” of life – and often the negative and contrary distractions that come with it – to find the gentle voice of God.

Discernment implies taking time to really pray and reflect in order to discover the unique plan of God. This takes openness to the path God points out. If you sincerely seek your path, God will be with you and He will never abandon you.

ARE YOU READY TO DISCERN?

Are you ready to make a good discernment? Do you really want to get to the bottom of things? If you’ve read this far, probably yes. Good for you. It can take courage to stand on the threshold of serious discernment!

YOU ARE COMMITTED

Are you prepared to really commit to your discernment process, to see it through so you can reach a conclusion and avoid falling into a vague “perpetual discernment” state that persists month after month, year after year? If you’re not intentional and sort of allow yourself to wander aimlessly, you’ll never cross the “stormy sea” to the “calm shore.” You want to escape a state of unfocused confusion and the hazy thought about a call to religious life that’s floating around in your head. Make a commitment to discern and see it through.

YOU HAVE REFLECTED ON SOME FOUNDATIONAL QUESTIONS

Do you think about the questions in the third section: Some Questions to Seriously Ponder? If not, go back to those. They are foundational questions. You need to apprehend the truth as you start on your discernment journey in order to progress more securely and with fewer detours. Talk to a priest or some other wise person who can help you. Read Scripture. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Reflect on the fact that God is a God of love – God IS love, that you were created deliberately, thoughtfully, intentionally by God – willed, wanted, called into being and good. You are His beloved and He delights in you. Reflect on the fact that He desires your happiness even more than you do! He knows you more deeply than you know yourself and He has a path, a gift, a vocation, a purpose in mind for you.

YOU ARE INDIFFERENT

One of the prerequisites for discernment is “indifference.” Not in the sense of not caring! But in the sense that you’re detached enough to discern. Holy indifference means you can be at peace with whatever God shows you in your discernment, regardless of the outcome. It means you’re ready for the answer, whether it is yes or no. Such an attitude makes you truly available to God and allows Him to lead you. You are prepared to discern, or are close to it, when you’re ready to follow God’s will whatever direction it leads. If don’t feel you’ve arrived at that point yet, ask God to help you with that.

YOU ARE PREPARED TO PUT IT THE TIME

Are you prepared to give time to an intentional process? The goal is to move from questions, to understanding, to a decision. This takes time: in prayer, in reflecting, asking questions and in talking to others. Discernment takes time, but perpetual discernment is NOT a vocation! It shouldn’t take forever!

Start out by giving serious consideration to the question of a religious vocation for six months. This doesn’t mean you’re putting a time limit on yourself or on God. It’s just a reasonable, concrete, specific time period to be intentional, to devote dedicated time to prayer, reflection and learning, and to take the necessary concrete steps to bring clarity to your questions. By the end of the six months, you’ll probably have a good idea whether you should stop discerning a call to religious life, or whether you should continue the discernment process, perhaps with a particular religious community.

If your thinking is clear and correct, you know yourself to be truly loved by God, and you’ve come to believe that, in His goodness, His plan for your life is joy, you’re ready to discern. Trust Him, put in the time, and be committed to the process. God will lead you.

WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT… YOU’RE NOT ALONE

When we struggle with such a major question as a vocation decision, we can feel alone. If you’re beginning a journey regarding your vocation, please know there are many others feeling the same sort of stirring in their heart to delve deeper into what the Lord is asking. Also, many people are praying for you daily when they offer prayers for those discerning their vocation. It is also encouraging to realize that those in religious life have been where you are. They understand; and they, too, support you with their prayers.

BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY DISCERNING

YOU’RE NOT DISCERNING BETWEEN RELIGIOUS LIFE AND MARRIAGE
First of all, to make a good discernment, you discern one thing at the time. If you think God may be calling you to religious life, you enter into a process to discern a religious vocation. You’re not discerning between marriage and religious life, you’re discerning between “Yes” to religious life or “No” to religious life.

BY THE WAY, DATING…
Because of this, it is not helpful at all to be dating or in a relationship at the same time as you are in the process of trying to discern a religious vocation. Dating is part of the process to discern a vocation to marriage. Talk about confusion and creating “muddy waters” – not only for you but for your boyfriend! It’s unfair. Why is this important? If you’re not emotionally free you can’t make a genuine discernment about religious life. If you really want to get to the bottom of things, really discover whether God is calling you to religious life or not, put dating aside for the time being and totally give yourself over to the discernment process in the time frame proposed. Reduce the confusion so you can find clarity. It will be easier in the long run.

YOU’RE DISCERNING TO...
ENTER RELIGIOUS LIFE, NOT TO MAKE PERPETUAL VOWS
Sometimes people hesitate because entering a community seems like such a big step. And it is! But be clear. Discerning to enter the convent is not discerning to profess vows. You don’t make an immediate life commitment as soon as you walk through the door! That comes much later and there’s a long journey in between. You don’t enter a religious community because you have finished discerning, but because you would like to continue discerning in a more serious way. In and through the various stages of initial formation you further explore and confirm your call to religious life. Don’t get confused on this point; it will add to the confusion.

A ROAD MAP FOR YOUR DISCERNMENT JOURNEY
The discernment process may seem confusing but there are particular actions and steps you can take to make it easier and ensure you make a good discernment. Some of these occur at the same time; some continue throughout the discernment process. Be patient; listen for the Holy Spirit. God will lead you to the right place at the right time.

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CONGREGATION OF THE MISSIONARY SISTERS OF THE
BLESSED VIRGIN MARY, QUEEN OF MERCY
Dòng Nữ Tu Thừa Sai Đức Mẹ Trinh Vương Thương Xót

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