Trying to discern God’s call in life can be a challenge, as you probably have already discovered. But you don’t have to do it alone! We’re not meant to discern alone. (This doesn’t mean we should ask advice from a lot of different people!) A guide on the journey – a spiritual director – is crucial for discerning your vocation. You need one. Get one!
WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT? It’s important because some questions can only be answered by asking someone. If you have a spiritual director, you have someone with whom you can discuss any fears or obstacles you identified above. This helps separate fact from fiction.
But even more, we can’t always trust our own feelings. Discerning our true motivations on our own is difficult. A spiritual director can see more objectively and clearly than we can. They can “stand above the fog” we often encounter on our discernment journey.
A spiritual director, being outside yourself, can help you begin to recognize God’s voice more easily as God works in your life. Discerning the action of the Holy Spirit is much easier with the help of sound spiritual guidance.
Having to articulate to someone else what’s going on inside often helps you better understand yourself, and what God is doing in you. By walking your journey with a guide, God’s action will come to light more clearly than just ruminating on your own.
WHO MIGHT YOU ASK? It could be a priest or a religious Sister since both have the experience of living a religious vocation. Look for someone who has experience with the spiritual life and understands the principles of discernment. You want someone who is competent to help you on your spiritual journey exploring God’s presence in your life. A religious Sister, if available, may be particularly helpful in answering the questions you have because she has lived the life.
The spiritual director’s primary role is to listen to the movement of grace in your life. The foundation of this relationship must be trust and honesty. It shows humility and a sincere desire to see clearly God’s will in your life. Commit to meeting with your spiritual director regularly. Be open to receiving the guidance given to you. Listen to your spiritual director. Don’t just vent and then not follow their advice.
SOMETHING ELSE THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL… If there is a group in session and you’re interested, you might consider joining a discernment group. That can really help alleviate some of the anxiety because you’re with people who are going through the same thing you are!
GET GOOD INFORMATION
To discover your vocation, it’s necessary to have good information. Do your homework. As you go, take what you learn back to prayer.
LEARN ABOUT RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES ONLINE Check out the Institute on Religious Life (https://religiouslife.com/) and the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious (https://cmswr.org/). They list several religious communities and have discernment resources.
READ ABOUT RELIGIOUS LIFE To get started, check out:
Catechism of the Catholic Church
On the Dignity and Vocation of Women by Pope St. John Paul II
Essential Elements of Religious Life by the Sacred Congregation for Religious and for Secular Institutes
Redemptionis Donum by Pope St. John Paul II
Vita Consecrata by Pope St. John Paul II
Perfectae Caritatis from Vatican Council II
And You Are Christ’s by Father Thomas Dubay
When God Asks for an Undivided Heart by Father Andrew Apostoli, CFR
A Right to Be Merry by Mother Mary Francis, PCC
READ ABOUT DISCERNMENT AND SPIRITUAL DIRECTION
Discerning the Will of God by Father Timothy Gallagher, OMI
The Discernment of Spirits by Father Timothy Gallagher, OMI
Navigating the Interior Life by Daniel Burke
TALK TO SISTERS
Just ask to talk to a Sister that you know or that you’ve seen around. Ask some of your questions about what religious life really is, and what it’s like to live as a religious Sister. They’ll be happy to respond to any of your questions.
You might want to contact the vocation director of a religious community. She can also answer your specific questions and ease fears and doubts. It is particularly helpful to speak with a vocation director since she is someone who lives the joys and challenges of religious life day in and day out, but who has also helped others in the discernment process. A vocation director can help you further listen to what God is calling you to.
VISIT RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES An important part of acquiring good, reliable information is to also actually visit religious communities. Only so many questions can be answered through the internet, or even over the phone. At some point you need to personally experience the environment and encounter the community. For some, this idea might seem intimidating, but remember, all the Sisters in any community that you visit have been in your shoes! They know what it’s like to make the discernment journey! Identify a few communities (3-5) that you are attracted to. Begin by looking at communities that might be around you. Also consider those from your online research. Take the step to contact the vocation director for the community for a visit and/or about participating in day or evening events that the community offers.
You may be invited to “try the life” for a weekend (or longer), perhaps for a retreat. If the saying, “seeing is believing” is true, then an experience such as this may be the thing that sets all of the confusion straight. These weekend events are a chance to learn about and experience, to a degree the religious life. Usually you’ll participate in liturgical prayer, Holy Mass, adoration, meals and recreation, and time for personal prayer. You’ll also be able to meet other young women who are discerning their own call from God.
Don’t get caught up in a bunch of expectations or preconceived ideas for yourself or the community before you even step through the door, no matter for what event. Just be open and receptive. Relax! Let God move freely. Remember, there is no obligation of any kind when you initially explore religious life. It’s part of the process of understanding how God is speaking to your heart.
You might need to visit religious communities you’re attracted to more than once. Just like it takes time spent together to get to know someone, even God, so it takes time to get to know a religious community. Get to know about the community and a little about its charism. Get to know some of the Sisters themselves. By actually visiting communities your understanding – and your own heart – can grow in ways otherwise impossible.
ENGAGE IN SERVICE
It is good for the soul to participate in some form of serve as you engage in the discernment process. It helps keep a balance in life by looking outward in the service of others at a time when a lot of focus and energy are focused inward. If not serving already, explore how you can participate in the Catholic community, be involved in some parish or other religious-sponsored activity, or offer service to the poor. Service expands the heart and creates a greater capacity for God.
MAKE A DECISION AND FOLLOW THROUGH
At the end of your intentional period of discernment you will likely have a good idea of your next move. In any case, you have to make a decision. The gift of the graces you have received are useless if you just stand immobile at the fork in the road or on the high dive staring down into the water. Based on what you’ve learn through the facets of your discernment process, you’ll stop discerning a religious vocation, you’ll determine a time period to take a break and then make a new discernment if you didn’t reach sufficient clarity, or you’ll discern further with a particular religious community, and perhaps apply to enter. So, when the time comes, you must act! Move in the direction your discerning heart tells you, confident that God will never point you in a direction in which his grace cannot sustain you! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain as long as you stay open to God throughout the process.
Once again, remember, you’re discerning a call to a religious vocation; you’re not discerning to immediately profess perpetual vows! Several years of further, even deeper discernment take place before that happens. You will have even more time to grow and discern before you make a commitment.
If you’ve discerned that God is pointing you toward religious life, and you’ve reached your decision to say YES, the next step is to begin a dialogue with the vocation director with this intention in mind. The vocation director will guide you through the next phase step-by-step.
If you discover that God is calling you to be a religious, it is because this is the way God has marked out for you – for your joy, for your sanctification, for the sanctification of others, and for His glory. If He is calling you, be generous, say YES, for truly, “In His will is our peace!” Do not be afraid!
